Family Matters

It's been a rather trying week in the Sanders household. Unfortunately a rather catastrophic argument ensued between my mother-in-law and I over the weekend. I'm sure inter-family stresses will be familiar to many, and in our case, as is also common with families, things always seem to come to a head in the run-up to Christmas. You don't need to know the finer details, but mother-in-law and I don't see eye to eye on a few things, and a misunderstanding over Christmas presents lit the touchpaper for this recent fall-out. It wasn't pretty. 

The dust is now settling and I've spent the last few days mulling things over. I've always understood it can't be easy being 'the other woman' and that as a mum of two boys I will one day be that woman, relinquishing her sons to the love and care of another. I'm sure there will be times I'll pass a disapproving eye over the way my daughters-in-law will do things, behave and raise her own children. As a daughter-in-law in the present, I know I'm far from perfect and sometimes take things too personally, particularly when it comes to my expectations about family and children.

As I have already said, I'm sure my stresses are common to many, so here's a little plea: Mother-in-laws, we sometimes get tired, emotional and over-protective of our little ones. Sometimes we just need a bit of empathy, or for you to show (or fein!) interest in the minutae of our kids' life (even if we bore you rigid sometimes!) And if you're a daughter-in-law? A little respect can go a long way, even if you can't agree on certain things. Let the small things go, and if you argue over the big things, never be too proud to say sorry or try and clear the air. 

On a more general note, parenting website Netmums recently conducted some intresting research into mothers-in-law - you can read a summary of the results and get their take on the mother-in-law debate in this article.

The joy of middle-aged gigging

Went to see Devonian electro-pop meisters Metronomy the other day. I've barely stopped playing their album, The English Riviera, which was released earlier this year, and am now busy discovering their back catalogue. If you like music of the electronic genre, do check this album out (it was nominated for the Mercury Prize this year and thankfully didn't win or we'd never be hearing from them again...) 

They put on a good live show, too, but what really struck me about the evening was just how broad the age range of people attending was. We (both 38) weren't the oldest people there! Obviously there were lots of lithe youngsters in attendance - Big G got chatting to a group of students (average age 19) who'd travelled down from Reading and were intending to stay out all night and catch the first train home...we felt exhausted just thinking about it. At the other end of the spectrum were two women in front of us in the queue who'd spotted their sons' teacher ahead of us in the line. They'd bought said teacher his Metronomy tickets as an end of year leaving present! How's that for trendy parenting?

As a middle aged gigger there's no pressure to stay right till the end, and you really don't care about looking trendy or worrying about your dancing - that stuff just doesn't matter anymore, you're just glad you're out throwing shapes when you'd normally be watching Question Time. My only request would be for gig venues to offer us oldies a bit more seating - just a few 'banquettes' around the side of the dancefloor would be nice - and it would be great if you could get a hot drink at the bar. I was spitting feathers mid-set and would have killed for a sit down and a nice cup of tea...

Beaver Scouts - Could there be a more entertaining, educational experience for boys?

I've been coming over all a bit evangelical about Beaver Scouts recently. I myself used to be a Brownie and Guide, but my hazy memories of making cups of tea and stitching on buttons for the quaintly named 'homemaker' badge don't come close to the fun stuff that kids seem to be doing these days. If my son's Beaver Scout Colony is anything to go by, the scouting association is offering kids the best value, most educational entertainment currently out there.

I know some people are mildly suspicious about 'uniformed organisations' and find the whole 'dib dib dib'-round-the-campfire concept a bit strange, but things have changed in recent years, and I reckon you'd be hard pushed to find another activity with so much going for it. Oh, and did you know girls can join Beavers and Cubs too these days? Highlights thus far for our little one have been a sleepover in a tee pee (with campfire breakfast and midnight feast, of course), a trip on a replica 1400s boat and a night hike. Each week, there's lots of running around outdoors, learning stuff about the world and working towards badges which not only teach kids invaluable life skills but which give them a real sense of achievement and boost their confidence. What's not to love? Add in the fact that your child gets to do all that stuff (knot tying, bonfire building, rocket making etc, etc) that you either don't know how to do or can't be bothered to do, and it's a win-win all round. 

As if that wasn't enough to get you firing off your details to the local colony right now, I've just happened upon some interesting research - according to the Institute for Public Policy Research, young people who join up to clubs such as beavers, cubs and scouts do better in later life. Former Scouts and Guides are 3% less likely to be depressed and 5% less likely to be single, separated or divorced by the age of 30. They are also more likely to own a home, achieve good qualifications and be earning a decent income!

This term, our son will become a pen pal with a Beaver in Oz, take part in Remembrance Day and visit the local police station - how's that for ticking all the boxes?! 

 Bear Grylls - Chief Scout

Viva Espana!

I think we may have found the perfect holiday destination this summer. We recently returned form ten days in a beautiful corner of Spain's Costa Brava. If you have any preconceptions about the Spanish costas, the lovely town of Calella de Palafrugell will turn those upside down. This pretty former fishing town is quintessential Spain without any of the tackiness that has blighted other parts of the coast - think colourful fishing boats lined along the shore, rustic tapas bars overlooking sunny plazas, and whitewashed villas strung with fragrant bougainvillea. 

It's busy in the height of August and you need to get to the beach early to reserve your plot of sand, but this part of the coast is characterised by lots of little coves, so if one beach is too crowded, you can try your luck a little further around the headland. We loved the central Calella beaches, which offer clear, safe water for little ones to swim in and easy access to cafes and other facilities. But if you like your beaches completely undeveloped, with nothing but turquoise waters to distract you, there are some stunning, hidden coves to explore. 

A big plus for families are the beachside restaurants - you can eat pretty much directly on the beach, meaning while you nibble on some olives and savour a crisp rose, the kids can play on the beach well within view. The beaches are full of other children doing exactly the same, well into the evening. This is a very family-orientated resort, and a favourite with Spanish second-homers and tourists, so entertainment is very much geared towards visitors with children in tow - think gentle 'passegiatas' along the beach, followed by a browse round the shops and a quick stop at the ice-cream shop.

Aside from the beach there are some interesting villages to explore - Pals and Peretallada are particularly beautiful medieval villages, the perfect places to while away a lazy afternoon and enjoy a sundowner or two.

We'll certainly be returning one day, hopefully. But as the wind whips around outside here in rainy Bristol, those sunny days suddenly seem a happy, but distant memory...

Two quick kitchen cheats

During the holidays any culinary aspirations I have go right out the window. This week my kids have subsisted on foods which can either be bunged in the oven (ie fishfingers and oven chips) or gleaned from a jar (ie pasta and pesto). Shocking, I know, but wouldn't you rather be out in the garden or staying out late at the local park of a summer's evening? More structured, healthy eating can be re-established when they're back at school (hopefully!)

The weird thing is I do actually enjoy cooking but my children aren't easily pleased. They're not exactly fussy eaters but they can be awkward about mealtimes. Oldest son has ridiculously high-brow tastes and would happily dine on seafood each night, yet turns his nose up at, say, a simple macaroni cheese. My younger son only really gets excited about scrambled eggs and won't let a morsel of meat pass his lips. You can see it's limiting and takes the joy out of family cooking, somewhat. 

But recently I have hit on two real kitchen 'cheats', which are relatively healthy, add some variation to mealtimes and couldn't be easier to prepare. I have Nigella to thank for these two discoveries, which can be found in her book 'Kitchen'. Firstly, spaghetti with marmite - an improbable combo, I know, but - and I've tried it - it really does work. Plus the recipe was conceived by legendary Italian cookery writer Anna Del Conte - if the Italians eat it, it must be good! You don't even have to really like marmite. Bung some spaghetti in to cook then heat about 50g of butter in a pan. When it's nearly melted add in a teaspoon of marmite, plus one tablespoon of the pasta cooking water till it all emulsifies and goes loose. Add the sauce to the drained spaghetti and mix well. Plate up and serve with plenty of parmesan. I'm biased because I love marmite but even if you're not so sure, give it a try just once!

Secondly, an easy accompaninment to meat or fish. Even though I sometimes make my own chips and even the oven variety aren't really that bad for them, I do sometimes feel a bit gulity about chips being the standard potato-based dish in our home. So, for something a bit different try roasted or fried gnoochi. Again, these babies take literally minutes to prepare - you simply throw them into a frying pan with some olive oil and gently fry on both sides for about four minutes. Alternatively bake them in a roasting pan with some oil for about twenty minutes. 

I'm not sure Annabel Karmel would approve but sometimes life really is too short to spend slaving over a hot stove...

Books for Boys

Mums of boys will know how difficult it can be to engage them in reading. My two love books but they have definite likes and dislikes when it comes to subject matter. As my eldest, now aged 7, has progressed through school I've been frustrated by the limited nature of the books he's brought home, which often seem very geared to female readers. He's not so much a reluctant reader as a lazy reader and we've had to work hard to bring him up to speed, something I don't think has been helped by the - frankly - often boring nature of his school reading books.

So, at home we've followed a policy of letting him read whatever takes his fancy (within reason of course!). He definitely veers towards non-fiction and loves a comic-book format, something that other mums I've spoken to say is true of their boys too. Below are some of my recommendations for books for boys, suitable for early readers or to share together:

• An atlas - our two love looking at maps. A good children's atlas seems to really engage them, but you've got to choose something with lots of illustrations and short, snappy text. We gave our eldest the DK Pop-up, Pull-Out Picture atlas as a starting school present. When he wanted something a little more comprehensive, we moved onto the Kingfisher World Atlas.
• Tin Tin- since the age of about 6 1/2 plus our son has been a Tin Tin obsessive. Yes, some of the language is a little outdated and some kids might not get on with the format, but if you fancy trying something a bit different, give these a go.
• Traction Man series - a hugely imaginative, humorous take on the action-hero genre. Short snippets of text are ideal for young readers, plus the detailed illustrations are packed with weird and wonderful characters.
• A book of poems, particularly anything by Michael Rosen. Mr Rosen 'gets' what makes boys giggle, and his poems are just the right length and a teensy bit rude - my son loves the poem entitled 'Properties of Matter' in his book Michael Rosen's Big Book of  Bad Things, which talks about freezing farts...it'll make you laugh too.
• I really think adults need to engage with their children's books too, and I'm sure if I can't abide a book it rubs off on the kids. I love anything to do with travel, plus I'm a sucker for retro-inspired illustration. Thankfully the boys share my enthusiasm so together we've enjoyed a fab series of books I really urge you to check out. M. Sasek's 'This Is...' series covers cities such as London, New York, Paris and Rome. They were first published back in the late '50s so some of the text is a little quaint, and some factual info is no longer accurate (this is made clear in the books' appendices) but they really are lovely books and the illustrations are just gorgeous.
• In the same vein, another great book for non-fiction lovers is Piero Ventura's Book of Cities. Again, it has a retro vibe with unusual pictures, packed with minute detail. It looks at the workings of the city - its buildings, transport, houses and green spaces.

I would also recommend visiting the children's section of the Tate bookshop. We were down at the Tate Gallery in St Ives and I found some really unusual books for kids here. There are some fab arty books as well as more general fiction and non-fiction, and they're just a bit different from what you get at the local Waterstones. You can buy a small selection of books - particularly good for younger kids - online.

Happy reading!

Lovely Lyme Regis

Just got back from a short sojourn in Dorset; Lyme Regis to be exact. Luckily the sun shone, our never-before visited campsite was perfect and the Dorset regatta was on which meant there was plenty of child-friendly activity happening in and around the town. Highlight of the weekend for our two was seeing the life boat launch, and a simulated rescue operation - quite a visual treat and a lot cheaper than a trip to the cinema!

If you're looking for a campsite in this pretty corner of Dorset, I'd recommend Hook Farm, where we stayed. It's a clean, well laid-out site, with both pitches and static caravans, located just 5 minutes by car from Lyme Regis. It was packed with young families when we were there, plus there is a small play section and wooded area towards the back of the site which the kids can explore.

Aside from making sandcastles and splashing around in the sea, we also took a trip to nearby Beer, another pretty spot, and dragged the kids round Thomas Hardy's cottage, a National Trust property just outside Dorchester. Of course this excursion was slightly lost on the little 'uns but if you like your literature and you've got a passing interest in Thomas Hardy, it's a tranquil, scenic place to while away half an hour (though probably not worth making the trip for if you're not National Trust members).

Next up, our travels take us to the Lake District followed by the Costa Brava...can't wait to see some Spanish sunshine....

The lovely Hook Farm Campsite - find out more here...

I like to ride my bicycle

Until recently, I hadn't been on a bike since my honeymoon, when Big G and I rented bikes to scoot around Mauritius. But now 7-year-old son has become quite a proficient little cyclist, I've decided to get in on the act, and, thanks to Tesco Clubcard points, have become the proud owner of a 'ladies' mountain bike. Quite why anything preceded by the word 'ladies' has to be emblazoned with pink flowers, I don't really know, but thankfully the lurid logo adorning my bike could be removed with the aid of a sharp fingernail. Now my bike is style personifed, in a no-brand, lo-fi kind of way. Well, for £80 quid one can't complain.

I've taken to this cycling lark like the proverbial fish to water. The fact that Bristol is England's first 'Cycling City' is just an added bonus. You couldn't want for a better variety of cycling routes, and if you've got kids in tow there are plenty suitable for little legs. So, if like me you're new to cycling and you want to give it a go with your family - and you live in Bristol - may I suggest you try either of these routes:

1. Avon Gorge tow-path to Pill, round trip

This is a lovely little route, just long enough for children and with a good stopping place for snacks or a picnic on the green just before you get to Pill harbour. The terrain is nice and flat pretty much all of the way, and you pass through some really tranquil countryside. On your way back, you could continue on the railway track towards the harbour and stop at the docks for coffee or a stroll around the M Shed.

2. Shirehampton to Portishead

We like to catch the local train from Redland Station to Shirehampton - just a couple of stops but the boys never fail to be excited by a train trip. Then, turn left and down the hill from the station and you'll see signs for the cycle path. Then it gets a bit weird as you then have to ride across the Avonmouth Bridge, alongside the M5. There's a massive great barrier between you and the motorway - don't worry! - but it still feels a tad unnerving to be riding so close to all that traffic. Kids love it, though.

It all calms down from there on in, and you end up approaching Portishead via the new development around the Marina. There's a lock you can cross but be prepared - especially if you have boys - to have to hang around and watch it fill with water if it's opening to let traffic through (actually, it is quite an interesting sight, I have to admit!)

You can then cycle on towards the lake ground, perfect for a pit stop and a play. There's also a nice pub en route. Et voila, a perfect, low-cost day out en famille.

If I decide to dump the Clubcard 80-quid Special, I wouldn't say no to the Lazy Susan, a cool retro-style bike by Charge...check it out here.